We're pathetic humans
by ArtemisBAMF1218
Summary: Siobhan and Winn commensurate together. Warning: Mentions of suicide


**Some actions may be OOC but they'll be an explanation in the end. As**  
 **for OOCness personalities, I'm not sure how either of them would react**  
 **to this is kind of thing so it's all in my head. Also I just feel bad for Siobhan a bit because of the banshee curse. I mean cursed so no one likes you. StrangeInterests123's story, Visiting Day explores this more, I highly recommend it. Hope you enjoy this.**

WInn had just been in his living room after a unexpectedly peaceful  
day at CatCo and had been getting down to watching Rambo with  
a big bucket of popcorn and some coffee when he heard a  
knocking at his door.  
He went to open it, fully expecting Kara or James to be standing  
there with some urgent message or in need of love advice.  
There stood, his sorta girlfriend, Siobhan Smythe with a cracked laptop.  
"Can you help me?" Siobhan asked with a surprising demure voice.  
"Yeah, yeah, go on in" Winn motioned for her to come inside the apartmeng. Something seemed really off here.  
Siobhan briskly walked right into his living room where the movie was playing and  
placed the laptop in his hands.  
"I damaged it and I'm going to get a new laptop but I had left PR plan I had saved there. Can you get it?"  
"OH sure, yeah easy fix" Winn said, rebooting the computer and starting to look through the software, "Why did you smash it?"  
Siobhan shifted from foot to foot "I didn't mean to hit it? I just threw my phone and my laptop was open..so it collided."  
"And you threw your phone because.." Winn prompted. He expected that some poor worker was annoying her or maybe it was Kara again. He didn't understand why Siobhan disliked her so much. Kara was hardly working to be a rival to her. But then again, Siobhan treated everything that she needed to be number one.  
"My dear old father" Siobhan grunted in disgust. Winn nodded his head in understanding. Mr. Smythe was a sore topic for her, any description of him was full of unflattering and foul wording. "I didn't think you still talked" Winn commented. "We don't." Siobhan answered tersely, "He wanted to talk today because..well my mom died." "Oh" Winn opened his mouth to say something comforting but realized it would be better left alone, let her explain.

Siobhan saw his questioning look as a sign to continue. The ranting would make her feel better she thought to herself. Winn was always such a good listener.  
"She committed suicide last year" Siobhan said softly "She said, I mean her note said she was tired of being second fiddle to my dad's job. That he had no comfort with her and that he would sleep with every other girl but her. That she knew suicide was the only answer. He could hide behind a facade as perfect father. He could hide his affairs. The only thing he couldn't hide was that she killed herself because of him."

Winn looked somberly at the brunette who seemed to be somewhere else. Her face downcast and teary.

"He called today. He was all nice and fine, trying to "comfort" me that Mom was in a better place and her diseased mind could rest. Diseased! He was just pushing her suicide as a foolish crazy person. That she was the one with the problems. Rather than he had anything to do with it. I mean, I know that suicide is because of some sort of mental thing but he provided the main reason. If, if he had just treated her better and maybe spent the night with her instead of his skanky affairs she would have thought she could live longer. But he didn't stay with her, she felt like she had nothing to do. He contributed!". Winn grabbed her by the shoulders, and hugged her. "Oh Siobhan. That that is wrong. I'm so sorry." Siobhan merely burrowed her face into his shoulder before pushing him away. "Sorry, I'm sorry. This is stupid." She covered pher mouth and Winn could hear pained noises. "Sorry." She swallowed, attempting to control herself. "Just fix my computer...Please." "No, no it's okay. It's a bad day for you." Winn shifted his gaze to the computer as she turned away from him. "You can cry."

"No" Siobhan insisted, taking short breaths "I tend to start wailing loudly. God, the preist hated me during the funeral. I kept interrupting his sermon."  
"I'm sure your Mom didn't mean to hurt you like this besides getting even with your dad."

"Mhmm" she heaved a deep sigh, staring at the wall, "She didn't really mention me or any last advice in her letter. Just Dad...I don't think she liked me much. She always said I acted like my father. Always trying to get my way. Bratty. Figures."  
"That sucks" Winn broke in though he couldn't help but think most of Siobhan's action did lean toward self-centeredness.  
She barely looked in his direction, "I'm the bitch of the room." She gave a small smile at his incredulous reaction to her saying that. "I know I am. Don't be so polite and act shocked."  
"No it's just I mean well you can be a little..but you think that of yourself?" Winn stuttered.  
"Can't really deny it." Siobhan put in, wearily "Ever since I was young I tend to dislike people and they dislike me. Everything I said and did was just wrong or bitchy."  
"Surely you weren't always that bad" Winn said.  
Siobhan faced him calmly with what looked like a look of acceptance, "It was bad at first. I hated it. I just wished-I still wish-that people dropped all the pretenses of social niceties and tell m what they want to hear. What they want me to do. Just order me so I don't make a mistake. Because CLEARLY I can't do that on my own. No one liked what I said. I thought that maybe if I didn't speak people would like me. So I stayed silent for three days. It was okay, people kinda ignored me that way but it was better than being alone and hated. Finally I decided to speak again and first thing out of my mouth was to ask my substitute teacher when her baby was due. You know, being nice and stuff. It turned out she wasn't pregnant, she was just fat. Sent me right to the principle office for being fresh and disrespectful. So I looked like a totally asshole. From then I felt like there was nothing to do. The only way people will like me if I was mute. How ridiculous is that? Well, people and me are never going to get along so I don't care anymore. All I have is myself. I don't hate myself at least."

Silence, Winn felt uncomfortable as if he should contribute something. "I was kinda lonely when I was younger too" he started. "Nothing like you. It's just you know. I was nerdy then as I am today. And my father was jail as the crazy toy man so kids would ask fun of me. Saying not to give me toys because I would make them weapons."

Winn stared at the screen, recalling the days in a monotone. He never really talked about his childhood like this before. He wanted to keep it calm and simple. "I was self-conscious about it too. If a stranger asked me about my dad I would run away. I didn't talk about things like that. I was the best person you got if you want denial. On top of that I was paranoid that if I kept hiding my feelings...I would end up like him someday too."

"We're pathetic" Siobhan sniffed and leaned on his shoulder from behind. into his chest.

"We're human" Winn replied

"We're pathetic humans." Siobhan amended.

He chose not to move. Just felt the warmth of her back on his chest, and the  
smell of her shampooed hair. Smelled a little like snow.  
They stared at the laptop's cracked screen like that for a while. Thinking of their respective parents and childhoods. Staring at the wall, breathing steadily, silently  
crying.  
Siobhan made the first move to get up. "So..yeah. Thanks."  
"You too" Winn rubbed the back of his neck "I'll try to get your PR thing by tomorrow. I'll call you."  
"Thanks again" Siobhan gave a thin smile, she looked like she was about to say  
something else but chose not to. She walked to the door and turned  
around.  
"I'll come by again, and Winn, if you ever want to,.. I'm able listen." She offered and then hugged him.  
"I'd like that." He gave her a quick kiss on the temple to which Siobhan replied by a passionate kiss on the lips.


End file.
